I guess thats the problem, huh?

bonjour from Morocco!

So I will preface the following with the statement that I am typing on a keyboard meant for french and arabic but not english and I cannot for the life of me figure out where the apostrophe is, so forgive my contractions their lack of apostrophe, please.

I found out today that my wonderful grandpa died on Wednesday evening. I found out via myspace message from my little sisters myspace and that is strange. But how else could I be reached. My Ghanaian phone does not work in Morocco and my family has no idea where I am staying, mainly because I dont know where I will stay until I am at the doorstep.

I wish so much that I could talk with my family, my mom especially, but I cant figure out how to call the states from a pay phone here, and it will be like 20 dollars, which I need to eat with, and this one moment is so frustrating because I have so many plans to run away and travel and explore but what about all the people I LOVE who I leave behind. In the case of my grandpa we all knew it was coming, and I am very thankful that he isnt in pain any more, because he was, for so long, but what about all the people HE left behind who are in pain, and I am halfway across the world not being able to comfort them or go the funeral or say goodbye one more time, and I hate that so much.

Is this the sacrifice I make by seeing the world? What a terrible bargain. On the other hand you cant live your whole life afraid something horrible will happen when you leave for a while, right?
Fear is such a cage, but I guess love is too.

By the way, Morocco is wonderful, and very very cold. I have a novel of stories in the works, which will be up eventually, most likely when I have a computer I understand back.

I hope you all are safe and well. As Chris Walla says, Take care of each other.

I love you.